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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

My Inner Bad Girl

I have a confession to make.
I think I would make an excellent criminal.

I have wonderful parents. My dad is a pastor and I was raised in church. I have loved Jesus since I was a kid. I have never stolen anything in my life.

But I want to.
I have this little inner bad girl that won't shut up when I walk into Target.
There's no one watching... no security cameras are anywhere.. you could just slip it in your purse... you don't look suspicious, no one would EVER suspect you...
It's not that I can't BUY the lipgloss... I just wonder what would happen...

I think it's kind of like when you tell a child not to stick a knife in the toaster or a fork in the electric outlet (maybe children should have plastic utensils?). I was the child that immediately wanted to see what would happen. I was the child that would put my knife NEXT to the toaster. And ON TOP of the toaster. And then drop the knife and run for fear that I couldn't restrain from putting the knife IN the toaster.. Yep, I was that girl.

And so, I want to rob an armored car.
Well, not ROB it... I wouldn't actually want to take the money... I just want to see if I can get inside of one. Like when they aren't looking, if I just LEAP through the doors...

A few days ago I was at the mall, and I noticed that there was a man who worked for one of those armored cars leaving a store with a bag of money in his left hand, and his right hand on the gun at his hip. So what did I do? I followed him. Naturally. Well I didn't actually FOLLOW him... I happened to be going the same direction as he was going... at the same pace he was going. Until he saw me and turned quickly into a side door. I really thought about diving through the door after him... just to see what would happen, but decided it might be a bad idea.

Now let me just say, I watch CSI, and I am confident that I could get away with one of these crimes. I know better than to leave my DNA behind.

I blame my mother.

And just because I know you all come here for the pictures and not my crazy weird stories, here is a little peak at a shoot I had yesterday with Ala (some of you know her as The Modern Type, but she has just re-branded and it is AMAZING! Check out her site: www.loveala.com) I can't wait to see the rest of the photos she took!



Jordan said...

Ya know, I totally understand that! I've always been the good girl and sometimes it just gets old. I always wonder what would happen if I were to do something "bad" or daring.

Jewelielyn said...

ok, i understand this like maybe no one else will, because this is a personality quirk we share. so you can blame me, it probably is my fault. i get the humor here, and know that you aren't going off the deep end or getting tired of being "good." it's just a track our brain goes down sometimes--"i'll bet i could . . . and get away with it." think of it as exercise for the brain :) i love you and your criminal daydreams :)

Megan said...

Diandra, this made me laugh because I have the SAME exact thoughts! I promise, I've never so much as changed lanes without signaling (on purpose at least!) but I seriously have daydreams about committing the perfect crime. My favorite line of the post is "I know better than to leave my DNA behind." Call me if you ever need a get-away driver. :)

Manda said...

Ahhh... it's that sinful nature of our flesh. Crazy what kind of temptations lurk....
I loved this post, just a simple reminder that we all fall short.

Bianca said...

You're so odd. I think I need to start praying for you.



PS You look hot.