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Monday, April 27, 2009

Love Love Love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." --1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I don't know if I've ever been in love. Like real, honest love.
I have dated boys.
I have loved people...
But I don't know if I've really honestly been in LOVE.

I am about to be 24 years old and I am divorced. It's not something I talk about a lot, because people are quick to judge. The first thought usually is, "Another casualty of young marriage." But I am not a statistic. And there is a lot more to my story than most people will ever know. I got married when I was 20 years old to someone that I thought I knew. Twenty is young... really young. And I didn't know him. And he didn't know me. I don't know if I even knew me. After a couple of years of irreparable damage... I finally got help. And got out. Then he filed for divorce.... and here we are.

I really enjoy reading blogs. It's a wonderful way of keeping up with my friends and family who don't live here. It's also a great way for me to learn more about photography. I am an avid reader of Jasmine Star's blog. Today she posted an interview with her husband. I can feel his love for her in his words. He supports and cares for her, and is her biggest fan. As I read through that post, I couldn't help but think how wonderful that must be, and hope for someone to one day love me that much. Then I read my mom's blog. She had written about my dad. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They got married when they were very young, and things haven't always been easy, but they have been married for 30 years, and I know they're still in love. Again, I started thinking about my own life, and hoping that one day someone will love me enough to do the kind of things for me that my dad does for my mom.

I haven't lost my love for love. I really love seeing people that are in love. I love seeing people treat each other in ways that makes them better. I love seeing laughter and genuine smiles. Maybe that's why I love photographing people so much. I love seeing their honest love and respect. I love the way they interact... the fondness that can be sensed when you are around people who are honestly in love.

I have been steering away from shooting weddings this year, not because I don't love them, but because I'm trying to challenge and stretch myself in other areas of photography. But nothing replaces the joy and love that is seen and felt on a wedding day. The day when two lives and hearts become one.

I also haven't become calloused to the idea of marriage. I still believe that when it is between two people who love and respect each other, it is perfect. The marriage might not be perfect, and the people definitely aren't perfect. But the marriage... it's right. I know that there is a man out there who is going to love me the way that I've seen love. I know that there is a man who will not be perfect, but who will be perfect for me. I know that one day I will know what it means to really be in love... and to be loved.


Molly Williams said...

You are so worth loving- that is very apparent even though we haven't even met. Some man is going to just madly in love with your virtuous Christian heart. Thanks for such an honest and real post. :)

Julie said...

This was such an honest and real post. This is what makes you such a loving and likeable person that draws people in. Keep your heart open, one day your prince charming will come and sweep you off your feet. =)

Diandra Ann said...

Just speaking whats on my heart :) Thanks for reading! Glad you guys are enjoying my blog! I love when I have new readers! It's my favorite!!!

KHK said...

God has someone very special waiting for you, and one day, unexpectedly he will walk into your life. Trust me, it happened to me. Never would I thought that's who God had planned for me, but once I trusted him it all fell into place. :o)

Kristy Dickerson said...

This is raw and from your heart....LOVE IT! God has a plan for all of us. :)