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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Finding myself

I am going to be 24 in just a short time.
I can't believe it.
I feel like I was just turning 16!

And now I'm a real life adult.
With a job...
A car payment...
And freedom :)

I'm at a point in my life that I never thought I'd be at. I've been through a lot in the last few years... a lot that has shaped me and molded me. About a year ago, I left a situation that was damaging and a person who was tearing me apart, piece by piece. I believe that God protected my heart, and that I am a stronger woman for what I've been through, but as I looked at my life, I realized that I had no idea who I was. In the 4 years I'd invested, I had completely lost myself. I had become who I was "supposed" to be... who I was "expected" to be, and who I was told to be.

That is not who I was, nor who I wanted to be.

So I decided it was time to find myself again. To find out who I want to be, not who anyone else thinks I am, thinks I should be, or expects me to be. The months that followed were difficult in that area. I started picking up old hobbies that I used to enjoy. Some of them have stuck, and others I realized I don't really enjoy anymore. I decided that I was going to try new things... things that I might normally shy away from, and things that aren't really natural for me. In doing that, I've discovered some things I really enjoy!

My grandma encouraged me to start working on my life list. It's something I'd started writing as a kid. I'd added onto it everything I thought "oh, that is something I'd like to do!" Eventually I ended up with this huge long list of things I figured I'd never accomplish. But then my life changed. I realized that I could accomplish these things... one by one. And I wanted to... I wanted to look back on my life and realize that I had accomplished things that I wanted to accomplish... that I hadn't allowed anything... or anyONE... to hold me back. I wanted to be able to see that I had gone for my dreams... and even if I didn't accomplish EVERYTHING I ever wanted to... I wanted to know that I had tried.

So at that difficult time in my life, I took a leap of faith, and I posted my life list on my blog. For everyone to see. Without one single thing accomplished. And then I began my journey. One year later, I thought I'd share with you my life list. This time, it is a little more accomplished... but I am only just beginning :)

-scuba dive the great barrier reef COMPLETED

-run a 5k COMPLETED

-run a 10k

-name a star

-write "Mr. Pearson's Pumpkins"

-run a marathon

-buy a shootsac COMPLETED

-buy a canon 5d

-go on a hot air balloon ride

-Invest in someone's life COMPLETED

-audition for the Amazing Race IN PROGRESS

-Write a book IN PROGRESS

-Finish Photography project

-own something from Tiffany&co. COMPLETED

-Get one of my photos published

-Fix up an old house

-Go to Denmark and find a long lost relative

-Learn to ballroom dance

-Do a photoshoot with Jasmine Star COMPLETED

-ride a gondola in Venice

-keep my blog updated for a year COMPLETED

-Start a family

-photograph a fish market in Greece


-Stand in Times Square

-buy a house

-Get my credentials

-find a new hobby COMPLETED

-Write a children’s book

-Photograph something spectacular on every continent IN PROGRESS

-Keep up with and Finish my scrapbook IN PROGRESS

-Go skydiving

-paint a picture and hang it in my house COMPLETED

-Donate hair to locks of love COMPLETED

-Coach a volleyball team

-learn to drive a motorcycle

-See the Panama Canal

-buy a Jeep wrangler COMPLETED

-Get a puppy

-eat something that seems gross COMPLETED

-Get my masters

-Train puppy to do tricks like in movies

-Get ordained IN PROGRESS

-Go on a missions trip to another country COMPLETED

-Be in a Movie

-Go to a horse race

-Go to Brazil

-learn to sail

-adopt a child

-go whale watching

-send my parents on a vacation

-see a pro football game live

-sleep in a castle

-take a trip on a motorcycle

-go on a safari

-Fill a sketch book

-Change someone's life COMPLETED

-See a volcano in Hawaii

-Go on a roadtrip with no destination

-Read the Bible from Beginning to end IN PROGRESS

-Be in a musical

-donate blood

-buy something on Rodeo Drive

-learn to cook

-build a habitat for humanity home

-marry my best friend

-learn to play chess IN PROGRESS

-stand on the Great wall of China

-learn to fence

-Go to Chile

-Write a play/screenplay

-See the Colosseum in Rome

-own a convertible COMPLETED

-spend an entire weekend without technology

-learn to fly an airplane

-visit the Grand Canyon

-Visit the Sydney Opera House COMPLETED

-become fluent (or at least conversational) in Spanish IN PROGRESS

-Get my website up and running COMPLETED

-visit all 50 states IN PROGRESS

-Write in a journal every day for a year

-Go to Haiti

-Hold a koala COMPLETED

-Photograph a wedding COMPLETED

-learn to try new things COMPLETED

-Make a living doing something I love COMPLETED

-hold an alligator

-drive a race car

-go rock climbing COMPLETED

-learn to play an instrument

-swim with whales

You can read my original post about this by clicking HERE. I'll continue to post as I accomplish things... you can read all of my posts about this by clicking on the "life list" topic.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't accomplish your dreams. Don't become someone you aren't because that's what people want or expect of you. Strive to be the best version of yourself possible. And try new things! You never know when you might find that you really love them!

By the way... I'd love to hear what is on YOUR life list! And if you don't have one, I'd encourage you to make one!


chelophoto said...

I loved reading this. I think I'll start one too! I hope it's alright to write about your post.

Diandra Ann said...

of course! thanks so much! i hope it inspires people to write one of their own!!!

Jewelielyn said...

apparently you forgot that you went whale watching with me and my class a few years ago. remember the photo that we tried to photoshop? just because we didn't actually SEE any whales . . .

Bianca said...

Have a FRIENDS marathon with Javi and D- IN PROGRESS

Diandra Ann said...

haha... yes Bianca I should definitely add that that the list!